What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium
Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
It went OK.
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI
Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
He got Avogadro's number!
What did one ion say to the other?
I've got my ion you.
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
Because it's pretty basic stuff.
What did one titration say to the other?
"Let's meet at the endpoint."
What element is derived from a Norse god?
Thorium.